Thanksgiving Turkeys

[Silver Charm]

    With Thanksgiving just around the corner it is only fitting that we reward racings biggest turkeys of 2002.
    One large raw turkey neck for Mr. Donald Groth of Autotote, and all other race track officials, who have spent the last several years assuring the betting public that all of the strange goings on involving off-track simulcast wagering was on the up-and-up. Next time hire Bill Clinton to be your spokesperson.
    Our golden butterball turkey is Mr Frank Stronach and his Magna Entertainment group for running what was the worst meet in track history last year at Gulfstream. After having been so pleased with running \"Hialeah at Gulfstream\" a few years back, Stronach and his group decided to run \"Calder at Gulfstream\" this past year. Trainers and racing fans alike were inconvenienced with  idiotic concerts, and a turf course that resembled the inner dirt at Aqueduct.  Stronach\'s plan for a massive facelift were scrapped the minute everyone left town. The good news is, it can\'t get any worse.
    Our two fried turkeys are Bob Baffert and his wife Jill. The self-appointed first couple of racing. Fried had to be the condition of Bafferts brain when he cancelled his honeymoon in order to attend the Haskell. Baffert and Jill actually believe we go to the races to see them not the horses. Apparently track officials at Monmouth also believe it, as it was later disclosed that Baffert was given a $50,000.00 bribe, which he negotiated, to grace everyone with their prescence. Baffert is also the recepient of a second fried turkey award which resembles the condition of War Emblem by the time the Breeders Cup Classic was run. Baffert, who after being the trainer of record of War Emblem for only four weeks, was able to \"inject\" enough life in the horse that he won the Derby and Preakness. Baffert promptly took all the credit for the horses success and said the Triple Crown owed him one. If there are any leftovers Baffert can share them with the many media zealots who chase his behind and sniff his droppings.
    Finally, our three smoked turkeys are Chris Harn, Derrick Davis and Glen DaSilva. This threesome will very soon be sharing space with friends and neighbors who insist on having theirs \"smoked\" too.