Godda Figures

[Chuckles_the_Clown2]

Synopsis of  New York State Attorney General authorized undercover operation.
Code Name: "Figure Flounder"
Individuals surveilled :
Len Ragozin, aka "Len", also known as "Two Guns", "Two Lies", "Len the Weasel", "Crazy Odds".
Lenny Friedman, aka "Lenny", also known as "Loafers", "Lenny the Mark" "Horse Choker", "Two Bets", "G.Q. Dresser"
Marc Attenberg, aka "Marky Mark", also known as "Mr Spin", "Karl Rove", "Carville", "BS"

Summary of investigation into conspiracy to defame and overcome competitive disadvantage.

Surveillance: Phone taps, Wired informant, Listening devices and lip reading. Agency has a compelling interest in withholding the informant's identification to insure his safety and not jeopardize ongoing investigations.

Circumstances: Attorney General authorized informant has gained access and confidence of surveilled with participation in key strategy meetings while wearing judicially authorized body wiring. Informant referred to herein as "Mole".

Department begins to play surveillance tape:

Mole to Len: "Howyadoin?"
Len to Mole: "Howyadoin"
Mole to Lenny: "Howyadoin?"
Lenny to Mole: "Howyadoin"
Mole to Marky Mark: "Howyadoin?"
Marky Mark to Mole" "Howyadoin"

Department stops tape, inquires of "Mole":

Department: "Whats with this "Howyadoin?, what's it all mean?""

Mole: "Oh that....yeah, well, Howyadoin means, "hello how are ya." But, sometimes it means "ya got any action" or other times it means "Have ya hit nothing this week?".  You know and other times it means like "have you lost very much on the sheets today?" ya know, in a sorrowful kinda way. But at other times when they say it to like a Tfigs guy, it means "you sonofabitch, I hate you", even though the words are just "howyadoin", but it don't really mean that then, you see?"

Department: "Uhhh, not really, lets proceed"

Cassette is turned on.

Lenny: "Len, we gotta talk bout the business"

Len: "I told ya to call me "Godda Figures" how many time do I hafta repeat maself, don't you ever learn nuttin?"

Lenny: "I'm sorry God... I'm sorry. You know I'd lay it down for you... But Len....I mean God, the business isn't really going as good as it use to and da boys and I been thinking"

Len: "JESSUS.... you know I don't' like it when you try and do that Lenny. Last time you was thinking ya know what happened"

Lenny: "God dat wasn't my fault. Forest Wildcats can really hoof it and we hadda chance to get that one cheap. The boys in the chart room got so deep into da fig they didn't realize that McAnally forgot to bet the first outing. Actually they forgot McAnally trained him too"

Len: "Lenny, how many times I warn you? How many times did I say  "Lenny, don't buy no horses from Dutrow or a good trainer." You think you gonna out wiseguy a wiseguy like that. What got into ya?"

Lenny "I know now God, I know, but that's why we gotta talk....we need a something to spark da interest. We need a good horse we can really recommended, so we don't look like amateurs compared to Da Kid".

Len: "For crying out loud Lenny, if I said it once I said it a goddamn thousand times, don't ever mention the goddamn Kid in my presence again. I rue da day I took dat backstabbing traitor in and gave him a job and now look how he repays me?"

Lenny: "Len its just that we still got Hot Wells on our webpage and theres fans in da game now that nevah hearda Hot Wells. We gotta go current. We gotta find da spark. The other thing going down is......"

Len: "The other thing going down is what Lenny? Say it"

Lenny: "I'm afraid to say it God, you don't like when I talk bout the Kid."

Len: "Oh JESSUS CHRIST, just say it"

Lenny: "Da Kid is winning handicapping contests with his figures God. His guys are talking the top spots. Guys that use his goddam lucky figures"

Len: "I knew it, it just keeps getting worse and worse. My mother told me to be a fireman. If I'd listened I'd have a pension now. What are we gonna do?"
 
Lenny: "We got Marc Attenberg from the Daily Racing Form on our side spreading innuendo to discredit the Kid. You know I'd die for ya Len, but what we really need is a good horse."

Len: "Damn if that aint the truth, I haven't hit a bomb in 20 years."

Lenny: "I mean for the webpage Len."

Len: "Oh........right"

Lenny: "Len, can I go work for Da Kid?"

Len: "I always knew you were a rat"

[Michael D.]

??

no need ctc. you have intelligent things to say about the three year old crop and current races; stick to those subjects.



Post Edited (02-21-05 00:38)

[gvido]

Chuckie Baby:

You\'re beginning to sound like a witless stooge for T-graph, plus it\'s not FUNNY!!!! Like your worker but.....

[4singles2all]

CtC - Grab ahold of the reins, you\'re about to fall off.

[TGJB]

Actually, I thought it was at least a little funny, maybe more, and certainly no more \"stoogy\" than several thousand posts on the Ragozin board, except with some wit.

Way back in the day, when the Ragozin office was on Perry St., and essentially a private club you had to be admitted to (no copy machine, one set of sheets on cards, then a small copier, less than 10 people using the data), a guy named Marty Wallach (who went on to become known as Mr. Dirt) wanted to join the club. He did so by sending about a 5 page mock screenplay featuring those of us who used sheets, and suggested casting-- I don\'t remember the script, but I remember he had Buddy Hacket playing Friedman. I think Walter Matthau was Ragozin, not sure. It was pretty funny.

Friedman always fought to keep others from being admitted, and shunned them if they were, so he (and Jeff and Richie Schwartz)wouldn\'t show Marty how to handicap once he did get to use them. I liked him and did, so it\'s pretty ironic that he has become the biggest TG basher in the NY/NJ area. Marty, if you are reading this, who played me?

[Chuckles_the_Clown2]

lol

From my perspective, nothing is funnier than humor based upon truth. I was rolling typing it up late last night. Maybe, I should have put some more thought into it. That purchase of Attila\'s Storm just wouldn\'t leave my mind. What a boondoggle.

I\'m guessing the readers don\'t know the players. Maybe sometime in the future I\'ll fill it out and dress it up.

lol

CtC