The Conspracy Known As BC Dirt Mile

[Tavasco]

In an effort to preempt TG\'s super cool seminar which should be out soon now that the post positions are drawn. I wanted to note the assertions, lies, fabrications and other conspiratorial factors that the seminar is sure to gloss over.

First of all this race is rigged and probably all the other ones too. It\'s just business the big money behind the scenes controls the results. BC is owned by Churchill Downs and they are not gonna share the handle with anybody they don\'t have to.

Looking at this years contenders

1. Vyjack
Call a cop, Bill Mott couldn\'t get this guy back in form yet D\'Amato can? Oh never mind that was a 1 mile turf race where they went :21² :43⁴ 1:07⁴ and this one was just able to get up? Now the race before vs Masochistic suggested he won\'t loose a lot of ground nor catch the winner. Favorite of French Revolutionaries.

2. Tom\'s Ready
He\'s not. Mostly because this race has too many turns. Let\'s get some perspective this is a Breeders Cup Race.

3. Dortmund
I think he\'s named after a Battleship. No wonder he rarely wins and only vs lesser. Look the only players that want him to win are those that singled him in horizontal wagers. First of all the horse is too big! Too much wind resistance and that makes it easy for the cheaters to just draft behind him. Richter scale hits 7 when he doesn\'t make the trifecta.

4. Point Piper
Many wondering why this one is in here. Sure the dorfer doesn\'t know what he\'s doing. One of his spies reported the Kelso was a fast race. Where is Anchor Down? Unfortunately jockey Gutierrez always loses ground so 4th is probably as good as he can do unless another jockey gets knocked off his horse.

5. Accelerate
This horse is too young (3) and inexperienced to know he can\'t win. He is certain to jump up a few points and blow up the verticals. Because this race is rigged and that\'s the only explanation for this one hitting the board.

6. Texas Chrome
This one has been beating up those in the minor leagues in Oklahoma and Flood ravaged Louisiana. Sired by Grasshopper and backed by a Buddhist chant team visualizing the image 3rd.

7. Runhappy
There is really only one question who the hell outworked this horse on Sat Oct 29? His previous race was a sucker play to orchestrate a betting coup. His rocket scientist connections long explaining to those that can understand them that this Breeders Cup winner is just as good at a longer distance.

8. Tamarkuz
Could be Mike Smith had a choice which horse he would pilot in this race. A virtual cinch to run 2nd. Or in the case McInvales are wrong again an 8/1 winner. Trainer jinx concerns should prop up the price. Obviously a low humidity specialist.

9 Gun Runner
Peta operatives financed by money stolen from one of the Kardasian ex\'s planning to agitate Assmussen assistants eliminating all chance of a post race interview consequently this one at best is a minor player. Come on he is a 3 y/o didn\'t win a triple crown race didn\'t win caca and was beaten 15 lengths his last out in a race which was obviously mis-timed.

Just when you thought this race was a gimme!